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All reviews - Movies (4) - TV Shows (3)

'Mean Girls 2': When is a sequel not a sequel?

Posted : 5 years, 4 months ago on 27 February 2013 02:49 (A review of Mean Girls 2)

Oh yes, it’s not your eyesight, you’ve read the title of this review correctly, Mean Girls DOES have a sequel and my, what a sequel it is. Of all of the sequels that deserve to be in the Burn Book, this one should be written on the first line of the first page. Confident senior Jo begins the new school year by breaking her own cardinal rule: don’t get involved in girl drama. But when she sees timid Abby preyed upon by Queen Bee Mandi and her minions, she takes sides in a girl-world-war that turns the whole school upside down, and follows the girls as they take on the school’s mean girls, the Plastics.. Think of the flaws in Mean Girls and times them by three, the answer would be Mean Girls 2. The first problem with Mean Girls 2 is that it has absolutely nothing to do with Mean Girls and, aside from the school and the use of the word ‘Plastics’, and could have been something different. The story is just absolutely bad. It’s predictable all the way through and when they tried to get laughs through the bitchiness, it failed miserably. It tries to send that usual message of ‘be yourself’ but unfortunately the message isn’t clear and it gets lost in its ridiculous story. Mean Girls 2 was boring throughout most of the movie and hardly entertained the audience.

All of the characters were either not likeable, annoying, stereotypical, one-dimensional or all of the above and most of them are all of the above. There was no depth to the characters or anything funny about them at all. The writing is shamefully bad and cliché in several places. The worst thing about the writing is the characters as they’re all a walking, talking cliché. Granted that Mean Girls did this but in Mean Girls, they had personalities to their characters, in Mean Girls 2, they don’t. The story was predictable from the very start and pretty soon, everything else was too. The acting isn’t too bad but there were moments when it was really bad, especially the narration. There was one thing I did notice: Half of the cast in the movie are mostly recognised for their roles in Disney Channel shows or movies such as Cory in the House, Camp Rock and Wizards of Waverly Place. Let’s just hope mothers don’t rent this movie for their kids because they recognise them from their favourite kids’ shows, they’ll be in for a shock with the bad words and sexual references. Overall, Mean Girls 2 is just bad. It’s not good at all and there’s hardly anything good that can be said about this movie.

Mean Girls should never have had a sequel but then again, Mean Girls 2 is not even really a proper sequel to begin with. This movie should have been titled something else because fans of the original movie will be disappointed to learn that Mean Girls 2 shares nothing in common with Mean Girls. As a movie, it’s quite bad but as a sequel, it’s terrible. Do not buy, rent or watch this if you loved the first movie because it will disappoint you. There are some decent moments but comparing this to Mean Girls and calling it a sequel is just an insult. This movie is not fetch!

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MTV, you’ve out done yourself.

Posted : 5 years, 5 months ago on 19 February 2013 06:25 (A review of Teen Wolf)

You had me at "grrragh."

The much-anticipated "Teen Wolf," is about the best new teen/adult crossover series since "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Yes. I mean it.

Think of "Teen Wolf" as the forbidden love child of "Friday Night Lights" and "Twilight."

That's because "Teen Wolf," unlike the tremendously entertaining Michael J. Fox movie of the same name, isn't tongue-in-cheek. It's serious teen angsting. Fangs are a metaphor for raging hormones. Not only is it really well thought out, but the good-looking kids in the show can actually act. And, while they are great-looking, they don't look like they fell out of the Ford modeling book.

That's because "Teen Wolf," unlike the tremendously entertaining Michael J. Fox movie of the same name, isn't tongue-in-cheek. It's serious teen angsting. Fangs are a metaphor for raging hormones. Not only is it really well thought out, but the good-looking kids in the show can actually act. And, while they are great-looking, they don't look like they fell out of the Ford modeling book.

The 12-part series begins with nerdy Scott McCall (Tyler Posey) getting ready for bed when his best friend, Stiles (Dylan O'Brien), drops in (literally) outside his window.
Stiles' dad -- a cop -- was called to the woods, where someone found half a body. Like the boys in "Stand By Me," the kids, of course, have to find it first.
I won't tell you what happens (like you can't guess). But there is a scene with a rampaging herd of deer that is (I mean this) more terrifying even than the wolf attack.
The day after the attack, with his side still inexplicably bleeding, Scott tries out for the lacrosse team. (This California town cares about lacrosse, not football, for some reason.)
Not only does he get over on the big bully on the team, but he's suddenly got supersonic hearing and the lightning-quick reflexes of, well, a wolf.
He's so good that even the beautiful new girl in town, Allison (Crystal Reed), is smitten.
But will smitten turn to bitten when the moon is full the next night? I'm not even close to telling.
After all is said and done, how do you make a teen heartthrob out of a werewolf?

Vampires are sexy --and thin. Werewolves have giant, hairy hands and comb-overs that make Trump's look normal. Not easy, so you'll have to see how it's done.

The real plus here is the combo of Tyler Posey and O'Brien. They are so off-beat-looking and have such terrific chemistry as the goofy outsiders, you'll be pulling for them even as one of them is pulling out a throat or two.
Interestingly, the series was originally commissioned by MTV production head Tony DiSanto (who also gave us "Jersey Shore") and developed by the guy behind "Criminal Minds" -- two of my least favorite, not to mention dopey, shows.
I'm shocked and delighted that they got their minds in the gutter -- and dug their fangs into something bloody good this time around

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The Ewings are BACK… :)

Posted : 5 years, 5 months ago on 19 February 2013 06:18 (A review of Dallas)

When considering properties ripe for a reboot, revamp, or in this case, continuation, a 20-year-old property that had probably outstayed its initial welcome by carrying on for a whopping 14 seasons isn’t what one immediately thinks of as the next big thing. Like other recently revisited programs (the failed Charlie’s Angels comes to mind),Dallas proved to have risen above being a mere television program to become a part of the pop culture lexicon. It was so popular, in fact, that it spawned imitators, each successful in their own right, like Dynasty and Falcon Crest, and certainly played a part in the creation of equally transcendent programs like Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place.

So from that perspective, it’s easy to understand why Dallas, and more importantly, the ever-feuding Ewings and their Southfork Ranch, could be considered worth another visit. The trick, however, isn’t just putting the appropriate pieces in place for there to be a truly loyal update of such a beloved series. The real concern is whether or not this new generation of Ewings - namely, Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) and John Ross (Josh Henderson) – can help usher in a new level of decadent trashiness that helped the series’ initial run become so immensely popular.

What initially started out in the late ’70s as a somewhat gaudy television version of Romeo & Juliet, set against the sweeping backdrop of Texas oil, quickly became the poster child for glamorizing the excess and extravagances of the wealthy and the frequently crazy things they would do to one another in the pursuit of more wealth. As the show progressively became more of a soap opera, one character in particular began to stand out: J.R. Ewing (Larry Hagman). His embodiment of a duplicitous oil magnate quickly became the centerpiece for the entire series, and, in fact, the finale revolved entirely around whether or not he would commit suicide. But now, thanks in part to a few television movies, and this TNT revival, J.R. is revealed to still be alive, though not particularly well. Whether or not that’s a suitable description of this new Dallas may depend on how deep it’s willing to dig into its old bag of tricks.

Right off the bat, this Dallas wants to set up John Ross (J.R. Jr. – if you hadn’t already made that connection) as every bit the conniving antagonist his father was. Here, we are introduced to John Ross as he and his girlfriend Elena Ramos (Jordana Brewster) strike oil in Southfork. Not just some oil, though – enough to make the Ewings wealthier than they could ever imagine. The trouble is, when the Ewing matriarch, Miss Ellie, passed away, she forbade future drilling for oil. As a sure sign of the times, oil in 2012 Dallas takes on something of a boogeyman role, a one-time means to an end that is now largely avoided – not unlike Hagman’s near-comatose J.R.

But the promise of more Ewing oil is enough to resurrect not only old feuds and feelings of ownership and control, but also to effectively raise J.R. out of his clinical depression in order to play puppet master to his son’s ambitions of ruling the empire. Naturally, there must be an idyllic Ewing yin to John Ross’ yang, and so we’re introduced to Bobby’s (Patrick Duffy) son Christopher, who is home from Asia where he researches – what else? Alternative energy. Unlike John Ross, however, Christopher isn’t home to partake in any drilling on Ewing land; he’s actually getting married to Rebecca Sutter (Julie Golanzo).
And then, as the two younger Ewings face off at the dinner table about the future of oil vs. alternative forms of energy (it turns out Christopher is actively pursuing the capture of methane from the ocean floor), Dallas finally begins to feel like the Dallas of old. The burgeoning feud between Christopher and John Ross initially seems to be a battle over beliefs, but it really started some time ago. It seems Elena and Christopher were to be married, but they split up the very day of their nuptials. Christopher fled to Asia, while Elena eventually sought comfort in the arms of John Ross while in Mexico. Adding fuel to the fire, we learn pretty early on that Christopher isn’t a biological Ewing – rather, he was sold by a family that no longer wanted him, according to a bitter John Ross.

In addition to all of that smoldering tension between past and present lovers, Dallas also throws in the curveball of Bobby having cancer, but he keeps it from his family long enough to reveal his plans to sell Southfork to a conservancy in order to ensure the land doesn’t fall into misuse.

Of course, the pending sale of Southfork acts as the appropriate catalyst for the Ewings to quickly get back to lying, cheating and stealing – well, J.R., anyway. The elder Ewing plays his hand late in the first episode, revealing the potential conservator of Southfork, Marta Del Sol (Leonor Varela), to be in his employ. Initially, it all seems to have wrapped up too easily – especially for an old man who was all but unconscious for the majority of the show. Thankfully, Dallas is willing to go the full J.R. and reveal John Ross to be the true conspirator. The apple certainly doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to an unquenchable thirst for wealth and power.

Saying that Dallas works isn’t too much of a surprise. After all, it’s only real obstacle was getting the audience up to date of what had transpired over the last 20 or so years; the rest was pretty much business as usual. While Metcalfe and Henderson look every bit the posh, privileged youngsters battling to make the Ewing name mean something for a new generation, there was something genuine missing in both performances. Perhaps it’s too soon to be comparing one Dallas to another, but there was a feeling of – and pardon the expression – richness about the Dallas of old. And, if a network is going to continue a series with such a well-known history, any comparisons, regardless of when they’re made, should be expected.

Right now, though, without the likes of Val, Gary, Ray and Cliff Barnes – or some updated analogs – Dallas feels a little empty. It’s like The CW has moved into Southfork, and while they look good, they haven’t quite mastered what it means to be Ewings. Thankfully, Hagman hasn’t lost an ounce of his snake-like charm, and Duffy remains as earnest as he ever was.

On another bright side, the site of two Sue Ellens (Dallas’ Linda Gray and Brenda Strong, who played Sue Ellen Mischke on Seinfeld) side-by-side was good for a laugh. If anyone is going to replace Pam Ewing, the former heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune is a pretty good find. Besides, Strong’s Ann Ewing seems ready to dispense a little Texas justice, so Southfork is likely just fine in her care.

In the end, any time an old property gets dusted off, the question becomes: Did we need this? In the case of Dallas, the answer is: No. Heck, we weren’t even asking for it. But since the creators didn’t attempt to reinvent the wheel (just take it around the track a few more times), the whole thing can be chalked up to no harm, no foul. Ultimately, this Dallas rebirth is as unimpressive as it is inoffensive – the two work to sort of cancel each other out.

If you’re feeling the need to take in a little prime-time soap that isn’t dripping in irony, then Dallas will certainly fit the bill. It worked for 14 seasons, so TNT is likely guessing they can bring up a few more before the well actually does run dry.

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My Kind of Comedy

Posted : 5 years, 6 months ago on 5 January 2013 04:02 (A review of Sorority Boys (2002))

I've watched Sorority Boys, like about 4 times now, and it still makes me laugh.

The movies revolves around three fraternity "frat boys" named Dave (Barry Watson), Adam (Michael Rosenbaum), and Doofer (Harland Williams).

They all belong to the lovely frat house KOK (Kappa Omnicron Kappa) (Think about this for a sec... it'll hit you). At KOK, these three are the 'shit' they are too awesome; every frat brother wants to be like them, banging hot chicks and being the life of the party. Dave, Adam, and Doofer followed by all the boys only like hot girls and not these; 'ugly girls', that live right across from KOK, the girls fraternity house is called DOG, and when one of the ugly girls crosses paths with KOK; "DOG CATCHER!!!!" They get immediately kicked out, its degrading but there it is... There's one guy; named Spence (He has a weird ass hairdo, I'm pretty sure its a pompadour...) and he's very jealous towards the three, which soon leads a mishap, apparently at KOK, Dave's father (once a fraternity bro.) is rich and that's why Dave is liked by tons. The boys have a safe containing the frat houses money, Dave has a key; Spence (for some reason) has a key, somehow Spence finds out the money is now missing, he then blames the three boys for stealing the money, and with that; they get kicked out. The boys don't know what to do, except to figure out how to save their asses from framed theft. Luckily, Doofer; remembers he found a 'sex tape' of Adam having sex. Adam must have hid a camera in the room somewhere, and maybe; the tape contains; whoever took the money in the safe... the boys think all they have to do is retrieve the tape to figure out who actually did it, but its not easy. Because they are banned.... but.....

Heading back to KOK, a party is happening; a frat brother answers the door to three lovely... err, I mean three interesting looking ladies.

After some attempt planning at getting the tape; the boys experience a lot of name calling, insults, and they even get called "DOG CATCHER!!!!" They get thrown out and sent to DOG (Delta Omnicron Gamma); they soon meet all these misfit girls and their frat sister; Leah (Melissa Sagemiller). Eventually they; decide to stay with the DOG house and its off to a rocky start but soon Dave (now Daisy), Adam (now Adina), and Doofer (now Roberta); soon realize "its not easy being ugly". Dave/Daisy develops a liking to Leah, Adam/Adina is hated and judged by all sorts of guys; especially Jimmy (Tony Denman), who was once a frat kid who worshiped him; he is now in love with Adina..... and Doofer/Roberta develops a bond with all these misfit girls. From Katie (Heather Matarazzo); who screams when she talks, to a french girl with epic facial hair, and to a girl who is extremely tall. The boys realize that; even though they were cool, and got to treat girls like they're just "mindless sex dolls", girls are human... whether they're hot or not, you should always give them respect.

Coming to an end, let me just tell you this now, they get the tape, but also get caught. Dave/Daisy, lose but gains trust back with Leah; and they start a relationship, Adam/Adina is a lot more respectful for females and he and Jimmy are sort of... awkward friends, and Doofer/Roberta has a lovely relationship with the girl with epic facial hair. The misfit girls get respect from the KOK guys. Which in my opinion is excellent.

Now, this movie isn't the best, cuz it's really deranged with the guys going under cover as hideous women, but aye; if I was framed for something I didn't do and had to set the record straight, I'd 'dress-up' too. :)
I enjoy the film because, of Michael 'fucking' Rosenbaum, he was very... very cute as Adina and very hilarious. Yay, MICHAEL!!

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At First....

Posted : 5 years, 7 months ago on 24 November 2012 05:33 (A review of Nanny McPhee Returns)

At first I was self-conscious seeing this movie because I kinda liked the first one better, but nonetheless, ABC Family decided they were going to air it last night, so I took the liberty of watching it and..... nope still nothing. Rhys Ifans... Oh, how I adore thee... Maggie Gyllenhaal was just way to much for me, her character was just so out of breath most of the time, but its because of those pesky children of hers. The children verses the cousins I mean. As usual they all mess about and what not, and once again Nanny McPhee ('Thats small C, big P) enters the scene with her stick, and a bird; now to me I was like, a bird this time?
Anyways, I'm fast forwarding to what I remember mostly.
Right in the beginning, after Nanny McPhee finally stops the children from fighting and stuff, I think it was her big mole that disappeared, wait what? Already? In the first one it took quite some time..... interesting.

Let me just say that Maggie Smith is just so adorable, but since she played the Old version of baby Agatha from the first, she had me question this movie, Is Nanny McPhee ancient? That part where she showed us her rattle and reviled who she was, sort of made me mad. I just didn't get it.

This review is so-so logic for me, I thought the movie was okay, had some falls like "I can feel it in my Bones" part and the flying scene, if you all know what I mean. All in all, decent film, and if Emma Thompson decides for a 3rd, go right ahead, I enjoy her acting. :)

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My favorite show that was cancelled

Posted : 6 years, 2 months ago on 13 May 2012 03:26 (A review of Heroes)

I hate NBC so much, cancelling all sorts of shows and such, I ESPECIALLY hate them all for cancelling this very good show, after 4 seasons... seriously!!? Sometimes, I think of this shows future if it had been with the Syfy Network, you know?

Anyways, this show was awesome, because of the characters (Sylar). I loved them all (Sylar) so much..! The show was very fascinating with their plots and what not.

But there's really not much to say because it's been cancelled... but, I don't bother it anymore, I just don't watch NBC as much now.. And they're still cancelling shows! Seriously. NBC. Seriously.

Whatever, I have all seasons; so suck it NBC! LoL ;D

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Amazing! :)

Posted : 6 years, 2 months ago on 13 May 2012 03:14 (A review of The Avengers)

I got to go see this lovely action packed movie today with my brothers and mom, at first I was a little self-conscious, because all my schoolmates have been bragging about how cool this film was, but now I'm one of those proud braggers.

We saw the movie in 2D though, but that's OK, because we sat real close anyways..
I'm a big, big fan of Joss Whedon, so I was a little excited, I also just now started getting interested in Jeremy Renner aka Hawkeye; so I was excited to see him too.

I also was ready for The Hulk to show up.

Anyways, during the fight scenes (in my head) I kept repeating "FIGHT", only because the way they battled was epic. The camera angles and all that action just made me giddy. The acting; of course wasn't bad, clearly they all were perfect...

But viewers think about this....
Chris Evans may be Captain America... (a Marvel character) but he was also The Human Torch (also a Marvel character).. silly right, there goes a chance to gather all the Marvel characters and make an epic movie... -____-

Honestly, Loki; you got what you deserved with The Hulk scene, I LOL-ed, when he got his ass whooped, woot.

I really enjoyed this movie, I adore Superhero movies (if there good enough), I encourage that more movie directors start doing this, because superhero fans (like me and a load of others) enjoy that stuff.

Totally, looking forward to the sequel and hey, who knows maybe they'll eventually make a DC Universe movie... It could and should happen. :)

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